I just watched the worst program of my life. And I watch some bad television. The show, perhaps called Angel Force, is the best reason for any child not to be religious that I have ever seen.

In Angel Force, ten unbelievably awkward prepubescent teenagers in safari hats sit around what appears to be the set of Steve Martin's 1979 film, The Jerk. Then, they engage in what can only be described as the worst television dialogue known to man as they wait for their priest (only marginally more well spoken, mainly because he is not 12) to come and give them insight like:

"Well actually, children, religion before the Catholic Church was imperfect and incorrect."

One of the chubby girls who appeared to be wearing a red Kabbalah bracelet a la Demi Moore did make a good point, though, remarking on the fact that Jesus indeed is not confined to time and place in the same way that homosapiens are.

I am writing this public service announcement so that you can write EWTN, the network that produces this atrocity, and ask them to cut this show and instead hire Anne Lamott to write some sarcastic children-for-God show a la God's Zoo (while not as good as what Anne Lamott could produce, God's Zoo includes animals). Or at the least they could hire me, but only if they pay well.

As a person down with Jesus, I am deeply ashamed. Please help our world.